»» The warning signals of the neglect of our boys has never been whistle clear as it is today. It is easy to blame someone but all this cold violence against women that we are witnessing begs a simple question. How do we raise our boys in comparison to girls? Have we evolved what it means to be a man in our contemporary society the same way we have evolved the idea of a woman as an identity and are continuing to do so in our effort to socially redress the role of women and parity thereof? No. Boys are neglected and are expected to grow into men who will love and protect our sisters, daughters and mothers as well as brother and fathers ««

»» Today all genders are equal however it is the foundation upon which each gender/identity(s), if you will, is nurtured that is of primary importance otherwise the picture will continue to ferment with cold violence. It starts with attaching value to boys and girls equally when they make their entry into this world. By attaching value to men and women equally without neglecting either one of them continuously. It starts here. Notice that I am not bitterly neglecting anyone behind.

Most importantly our contemporary society should get rid of old expectation that frames men into super human beings: men don’t cry, men must be tough, men don’t moan and must provide for women and children. So much expectations placed on men and this is ingrained in our social fabric. Failure to do so brands a man weakling. Of course you might counter argue and invert all that I have just said now into what is expected of women traditionally speaking. However you will be missing the point I am trying to make here, that I am talking about men and the psychological burden that has continued to haunt them even though that of women is being given a discursive space that reevaluates it continuously.

Our society should evenly and mercilessly flatten the surface of expectations between men and women. We now need to evolve the relationship and the meaning between men and women beyond what we know. Perhaps, if we are brave that is, a glimmer of hope will emerge from a revolutionary shock that sends ripples throughout our world cultures founded on the myth built around masculinity and all that is attached to it. What could emerge will be a different mindset that requires an update of expectations and their management as far as both genders are concerned socially and relationally – need I say rationally? When violation and violence against women arises then we can isolate the cause to something fundamental to that relationship of the two parties involved uniquely. Generalization will not die but will be muted as the playing field of cause and effect is evaluated equally. Hints of a possible society will start to emerge •

 

Autumn

© Mmutle Arthur Kgokong 2017